Bubble Wraps Reflections

After a gd month of hard work, things are slowing down. Finally. Yays! And I'm kinda taking things a bit too easy that I'm feeling lazy. So I decided that I should pop some bubble wraps and start working hard again. I didn't know my love for bubble wraps is so upz! Best thing happened to me today: work hard, pop bubbles, work hard again. This work-style is perfect for me!

If everyone has a default mode that they fall back on, I think mine is the CHILLAX MODE. Since young, I don't like to strive hard and I'm someone easily contented. I like to take things slow and enjoy the moment. Stress doesn't work well in me. It just makes me sick, physically sick, really. Accomplishing meaningful things is more important to me than accomplishing great and powerful things. It's not that I don't work hard for things I want, but just that if I don't win the race, I'm thankful that I actually completed it. Haha! And I really believe that whatever happens to me, that is God's best plan for me. This is how I can so easily let go and move on in a lot of things. Perhaps my upbringing plays a big part in who I am today.

My parents don't really expect much from me and they just let me do wherever I want. Seriously, everything I succeed in , it's a bonus to them. When I was younger, I felt that my parents are never proud of me because they don't expect anything from me. Looking back, I think, perhaps they do, but they love me too much to impose what they want on me.

I'm not sure if my upbringing is a blessing or a curse to me. I would love to see it as a blessing... to be someone who has no big aspirations but just want to do her best to make this world a better place. No stress and no pressure. Be happy and make this world a happy place.

But lately, I felt a shift in my attitude towards life. You see, I do zone out quite a bit when I'm alone, thinking about life and daydreaming. Sounds a lot like my god-Dottie, one of them! Anyway, now, I limit myself to 5 mins of zone out time and after that, I force myself to do something productive. It can be reading a book, thinking about how to improve on certain aspects at work or do some planning of my life. Maybe I start to realize that there's so much I can do for other people. I am blessed with all that I have now and there must be a reason. With greater blessings come greater responsibilities... and that is the responsibility of being a good steward. I don't think I am motivated by how good I am, because I don't find myself being really outstanding as a person. But I know I am definitely motivated by how great the needs of others are.

Worry not for your own needs. When there is destiny, there will always be provision.

So, I am changing. Trying to live each day the best I know how. Trying to live each day as if it's the last day on earth for me. It may sound very sad to some people. But I feel when you live like that, you align yourself with what heaven prioritizes.