If there's one place I want to be right now, it will be the Sea of Galilee.

I miss the pink skies, the calm waters. I miss walking along the promenade, having the view of gold marinated mountains reflecting the sun rays standing majestically in front of me. Golan Heights, they told me. But I think they should rename it Golden Heights.

Nope, I'm not thinking about holidays now. I'm just missing a place and reliving my memories. Really not a bad idea to do this more often. At least I get to travel for free! :p

I didn't know the burden is too heavy for me to bear.

I thought I am strong enough and invincible.

Why didn't I learn from my mistake a few years back?

Now it hurts so badly.

My poor wrist. ='(

Books from the past 2 years!

I don't remember loving reading so much. But today, as I held on to my hard cover "Out of our Minds" while reading at the bus stop and on the bus, I must say I look scholarly. Like a university student. Haha!

Interestingly, today as I shared with my students how I enjoyed reading, they gave me the "you are a nerd" face. I'm like "you shallow being". Haha! But really, if you read about the routines of highly effective and successful people, reading is one of their habits. Of coz, I don't read just so I can be like them. But there's so much value in reading. Broadening your world perspectives, giving you insights of people who are out of your circle of friends, challenging your world views and assumptions, and just lots more.

No wonder one of world's greatest invention was the printing press. Because of that, ideas and knowledge can be spread and shared. I'm sure we don't appreciate that now but if we are to bring ourselves back to the Middle Ages, we would know that books are a real privilege.

I like how I can ponder on what I've read for as long as I want. I love reading on the go coz my butt hurts if I sit too long at my study desk and my neck hurts if I lie on the bed and read.

So, today I unpacked my boxes of books from my home renovation and decided to put them up. There will be 3 more books that will soon be added to the collection. Can't wait for them to come but that means I got to finish up my current read soon!

Books bring me to the corners of the world that I may never have the chance to go. They bring people that I highly admire to be my mentor.

My blue pea seed finally sprouted. Yays! :) Let me give it a name —> Peacock! I tried to grow peacock by putting him on a cotton pad and giving him lots of water. But after a week, nothing happened. I thought I killed him. So I went to ask my Kor Kor and Kor Kor google told me to try soaking it in water for 48hours. I tried and yeah, it works! A tiny little white tail(ok la, don't know what it's called) is now visible, trying to squirm its way out of the seedling coat. So I put the seed on a cotton pad because soaking the seed for anything more than 48hour will cause it to rot. Praying that it will continue to grow to be a beautiful plant. Fingers crossed!

Other than the good news of peacock, I've been busy with confirming and arranging for my FST. Need to be sure they are the legit body to accredit trainers and etc. Oh yes, I'll be starting my volunteering stint at FSS in March too. Just got a text from them today. Hopefully my time at FSS will speed up my learning process and cut down the time from my training to assessment. I'll need to source for my own first aid certification course too. Though the FSS volunteering program will expose me to first aid, I'm really cool about learning it twice. The old me would probably say "Aiya, why waste time? Just go for the course when you can get the certificate and skip the FSS training." But the growth mindset me is so happy to learn it twice. It means I will be more familiar and confident in it. When something is repeated, the neural pathways are strengthened to make learning content stays in me. That's why I want to volunteer in FSS. No money one wor. But heck it. Experiences are worth more than money.

FST Level 3 Practitioner course is equivalent to an A level subject. I hope I will be able to do well as I put my heart and soul in it. Guess it will not be easy and smooth-going, yet, I know it will make me a better person, a better teacher, a better contributor to my world.

M.A.D

I remember receiving a v special phone call from a mum last March. She has a home-schooled daughter who wants A Math tuition. Sounds like a normal request right? Well, the tricky part is she hasn’t learnt A Math before, no idea how difficult it will be and she planned to take the O level in 8 months’ time. Not just that, she did her E Math O level the year before and got a C5. That means she was going to retake her O’s.


When I heard of her situation, I was not keen to take her in. I need to teach her everything in 8 months when the subject is meant to be covered over 2 years, and her math foundation didnt seem to be strong as reflected in her E Math grades. In addition, the mum asked for a discounted rate for the 1-1 lesson and I know her budget can only allow 2 hours lesson per week. Nothing more.

Strangely, I didn’t know what came over me that day. I actually agreed to help her. Perhaps something in me wants to do the impossible. Something in me wants to make a difference, not just to people who can afford tuition fees but also to those who can’t. I want to believe education is not about dollars and cents but making a difference.

So, I said yes to a challenge and started on this roller coaster journey. Knowing there are financial constraints, I turned creative and spilt the 2h 1-1 lesson to 2 x 1h lesson a week. After every lesson, I got her to stay back in my group class for free for another 1h just to allow her to ask me any questions if she had. This allowed her enough time to absorb new concepts and practise them before we move on to something new.

There were times during lessons when we were both very frustrated. She could do up to 6 full A4 pages of work and get everything wrong. I saw the frustration in her because it was undeniable that she put in a lot of effort. I got frustrated coz I had to go through all her 6 pages of working steps so that I know where her learning gaps are. There were a few times, she cried in anger, in front of me and wanted to give up. Sometimes she went to the extent of tearing up her papers. But each time, I had to compose myself and tell her... “It’s ok, girl. You are having difficulties because you are learning something new. Don’t give up and keep going. I’ll always be here for you. Come, let Ms Phoebe give you some snacks to cheer you up.” Some coaxing did help to cool her down. So little by little, both of us worked hard towards our goal.

Before the O levels, I felt she wasn’t very ready. All I could do was to pray for her.

The day when the O levels results was released, I texted her and her mum. Sadly, both didn’t reply me. In my mind, I was like... “Sigh, must have done badly.” Amazingly, after a week or so, she replied me and told me she got a B3 for her A Math. I was so happy! Well, she didn’t feel that happy. But I told her that she started a lot later than most candidates who took that same paper. So, her grades are not as bad as she thinks. There are many students who gave up because they couldn’t take the A Math pressure. The fact that she did the A Math exam, it is commendable.

She came by today to visit me and bought me gifts to thank me for helping her. She was spot on to get the tidbits I like(coz I will always buy that for myself and will share it with her last time) and also my fav “we bare bear”! Awww, so sweet right!

She got posted to a baking course in Poly today and she was happy about it. Before she left me, I told her that she may never apply and use those A Math concepts again, esp in the course that she will be going for. However, never forget the struggles, the moments you had wanted to give up while doing A Math. You kept at it, you forced yourself to take yet another step forward, you never lose hope. This is what I want you to remember. In the future, when you feel those intense emotions again, when you are met with difficulties that seem insurmountable, always remember that you are a conqueror and overcomer.

This student is indeed special. More than me helping her, she has helped me to be a better teacher. She challenged me to be more sympathetic. I am not the most patient person. Though not often, I do snap at my kids. But each time, my kids allowed to regulate my emotions and learn to be cool about what’s before me. They love me just the same. It’s funny how we can still joke and laugh after I get upset. I guess or rather hope that they know I will always love them and I’m only just human. Well, she also challenged me to be more creative and work within limitations. It used to be a session of 2 hours until we change it to twice a week session of 1 hour each. She never fails to make me reflect and think how I can make my teaching more effective and efficient for her, without compromising the focus on mathematical skills and understanding of concepts.

As she is home schooled, she doesn’t get the chance to take exams and be evaluated on how she is doing. There wasn’t any progress report or whatever. I must say her parents really trusted me as I was the only source of A Math help to her. A few times, I was tempted to not care as much and just go through the motion. Anyway, no one will know right? But God will always remind there’s a purpose why He brings people into my life. Ok fine, God, You win. And when God wins, He provides His all-sufficient grace and abundant joy. So, I’ll just gladly let God win everytime.

I know I’m MAD.
Yeah, Making.A.Difference