Self Control

The strongest one is not the one with the loudest voice or with the last say, but the one with the greatest self control who carries grace in the face of annoying people.

So, someone decides to throw tantrum at me today. I was tempted to raise my voice and give her back her nonsense. Then I decided no drama and just be cool and nice. Well, I shouldn't let her define who I am right? In the end, she apologized to me for being a brat.

I guess sometimes people just throw tantrum to get a reaction or find a reason to pick a fight. Perhaps there's a lot of anger boiling in them that needs to be vented out. But hello, I simply refuse to go with your game. I will not let your issue become my issue.

Take time to smell the lavender

This is especially so true for me.

My first encounter with this plant was when I was in aussie for holiday. So that's why whenever I smell the scent of lavender, it automatically brings me back to that place of relaxation and joy.

I'm so glad Ms Lavender survived for a month under my care. Coz when I was stressed or upset for the past weeks, I would go to the pot, pluck some leaves and take in the scent. Like some drug addict right? But it's very therapeutic for me k!

Somehow, no matter how hard I try, I tend to communicate my emotions more than my thoughts. You know, when you let your emotions more than logic affect how you behave.

Things are going so fast for me during this period that I can hardly catch up and breathe. And in the deep recesses of my mind, there lingers some thoughts I should banish. Anyway, over the years, I have adopted really effective coping mechanism to manage my stress. Simply smile, face the situation and keep doing what I need. No matter how affected I am with the situation, don't even stop. Just keep walking and you will soon reach the end of the tunnel.

My end of the tunnel now looks like these:
- 2 June
- 7 June
- 21 June
- 31 July

Housepacking

And so we are going to make Dad's dream into a reality. After much "talking about it", we finally going to do the house renovation this June!

There are a lot of crazy thing about it but the first one to conquer is the packing up! Ystd, sis and I spent the whole day packing the clothes, shoes and the stuff like old cards, holiday pamphlets and blah blah.

I've got 1 full box of that and I realize that it was really the norm to send Christmas and birthday cards to each other though you are not exactly gd friends. Haha! Ok, maybe I am to them but I don't feel it so for me. Aiyo, so bad right!

Looking through those cards reminds me of the good old days all the way from Primary school. That's a good 21 years ago. *gasps* Some of those people, I don't even remember them. There are some from my students from Crescent girls', St Theresa's and Clementi Woods. I'm sure those cards spurred me on to be a gd teacher and encouraged me to stay the course. :) A lot of the cards are from my church friends. But we hardly stay in touch.

Looking back, so many people came and left in my life. You have those who show you how awesome life and people can be. You have those who stayed by you and went through the highs and lows in your life. Everyone I know deposited something into my life. Either love, sunshine and grace, or life's greatest lessons. Haha!

Through it all, the constant in my life is still Jesus. I'm so glad that I've been found and loved by Him. My rship with Him is really the reason for the path that I am on right now. He created miracles and set me up for events so that I can be who I am, doing what I do today. If I was not born into my family with loving parents and wonderful siblings, if I had gone to Outram Sec, if I had stayed in NJC, if I hadn't received the teaching scholarship, if I was not in A312, DT zone and many more ifs and if-nots, things could be very different today. Life has not always been favorable to me according to my expectations, but God never fails to turn things around for me.

Having Jesus in my life assures me that no matter how life turns out, it will always be alright. For now, I'm ready for my next adventure. :)

When favor and providence flow,
I know I'm filled to be emptied again,
The seed I've received I will sow.

Thank you, Dr Plant!

Leaf Variegation. I wouldn't have known about this if not for Dr Plant.

I believe when you hang out with intelligent and passionate people, they inspire you to be curious. Naturally. Curiosity triggers you to be observant and think beyond what you are used to. The more you do that, the more you become an inquisitive person and you learn to discover a lot more of what life can offer, rather than just waiting for days to pass you by.

I used to not pay special attention to plants. Pretty much take their existence for granted. But ever since I attended his workshop with the students(mind you, not even adults ok!), I realize that plants come in different shapes, sizes and textures. Not so much of a new revelation coz I remember learning that in primary school but it's more like appreciating their beauty that comes with their unique differences.

From his workshop, I get to experience first hand how learning through play can change a person. Not just a child but also an adult like me. In fact, learning outside classroom and making it fun is just as important as all the drilling and practice that I get my students to do.

It challenges me to rethink what I believe about teaching and learning. Though a lot of things may still stay the same due to the nature of my work, I believe that a seed has been planted in me. Some day when the time is right, it will bear forth fruits in ways I may never expect. :)

All your efforts made to share with students about greenery is worthwhile. So thank you, Dr Plant. You said that you don't know you can be an inspiration, but you truly are. :)

C'est La Vie

I've concluded that the only person I should have expectations on, is myself.

People won't learn from your expectations of them unless they see a need to change. If they don't, why bother? Just get on with your life and be happy. Just focus on what you need to and channel your energy there.

Life lessons are the most precious! :)

Embrace

It's such a crazy day. The crazy weeks and months will follow suit.

I know it will pass... but I do need to get over a few hurdles... like packing my stuff, shifting to a new place, renovating the house, planning for makeup lessons for the center's kids, preparing for English lessons for the Burmese and making sure the school projects run smoothly as planned.

The thought of all that really stresses me out. But God reminded me this morning to EMBRACE what I have before me. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, just enjoy the process and deal with what comes my way positively and cheerfully. This reminder is very timely to me because I find myself running away from my problems a lot these days. Because I don't deal with issues that require my attention, they stay at the back of my mind and cause me to feel uneasy and stressed out. You know, people who are structural like me likes things in order and all settled.

So for now, I'll take things as they come my way. End of the day, I know God has my back and all things work together for good. :)

But God!

How is it possible that everything stays the same but I become so much at peace with myself and happier? God just has His ways.

For the past week, I was feeling extremely frustrated with myself, anxious about the things that had happened and things that had not yet happened, afraid that my health is deteriorating while spending a few grands on medical bills and basically just a crazy turmoil inside me.

But God is so gracious to me. He brings people along and allow events to happen to remind me of His plans. He used people to remind me that I don't have to strive so hard but all good things will happen in His perfect timing. Sometimes I compare myself with the standards and expectations of this world, but His ways and thoughts are higher and greater than mine. I'm thankful that God always catch me when I needed Him the most. Imagine you're falling off a building and this parachute opens up at the last min and save you.

Baymax is my best friend because he knows me well. The last time I cried was actually on Friday. When the nurse tried to dilate my eyes with some super stinging solution, it hurts so much that I cried. More than that, I felt like kicking her. Haha!

Celebration! :)

Went to see my ophthalmologist today and he says that my eyes are alright!!! It'a quite a miracle because I was so close to going for an operation in Feb. Yeah, really close that I even had the operation theatre booked. But thank God for His protection. :) So after the doc appointment at Camden, I headed down to Brunetti for some desserts to celebrate the good news.

Health is something that we often take for granted and we won't realize until we lose it.

So friends, please take care of your body!!! Eat healthy, exercise regularly and stay HAPPY!

Remember the days you prayed for the things you have today. Take time to actively notice your blessings.

Need this so much especially after these 2 very emotional days.

Going cray cray...

Now I know why!

Finally got myself started on my "English Project"! I'm currently doing some reading up on how non-native speakers learn English and how I can be an effective English teacher to them. Gosh, this whole process brought back so much memories from my NIE days and CWSS days.

I always wondered why my curriculum subject 2 is English. My original CS2 is actually physics. Well, Math and Physics go really well tgt. Whereas, Math and English combination is like bleh. I remember I hated physics in NUS so much that I requested for a change with MOE to do my CS2 in English. I did that partly because English modules in NUS were more manageable for me. Amazingly, MOE acceded to my request.

The interesting thing is that I am never a language person. I know that. But I admit I wanted the easy way out back then. Oops! You see, I don't grow up in an English speaking family and I struggled to pass my English exams when I was in school. The miracle was I did pretty well for my GP in A levels and I had to thank my GP tutor, Mr Lim for it. I literally stayed back almost every other day to do essays with him in the few months before my A's.

I believe God works in ways with the end in mind. He knows that 13 years down the road, I will visit Myanmar. He knows that I will be moved by the people's needs. He knows that I will want to help them.

When I decided to do this last year after I visited Myanmar, I know it will be challenging. I've lost touch with English teaching ever since I left MOE. Most importantly, I was afraid that I couldn't do a good job. Yet now, thinking about how God has guided me and led me to where I am today, I am convinced that He will provide the resources and wisdom.

God created me with a desire to help others. Being able to help people brings me so much happiness. Not only has He created me that way, He provided me with all the resources I need to be of help to others.

I was talking to my sis earlier on and we talked about this common friend of ours. Sis says that this friend's dream is to be famous one day. He is a super nice friend and there's certainly nothing wrong about wanting to be famous.

Then I thought about what I want in life. I don't desire to be famous. I also don't desire to be rich. And in that moment, I found my answer. I desire to be great! In Mtt 23:11 Jesus says that he who is the greatest among you will be your servant.

What are the journeys that God has brought you through? What are the markings on your staff that boast of God's faithfulness, love and goodness? No matter how discouraged you are at this point in life, we are all work in progress and God is never done with us. Push through all your difficulties while being assured that God is a loving Father who desires to give you the best things in life. You are never alone.

450ml of human blood

Time really flies. The last time that I donated blood was 2 years ago. I should really be more consistent in this. May and November seems like gd months to do it because I need at least 4 months of waiting time when I visit Malaria risk countries like Myanmar.

I'm always very stressed abt needles poking me and I tend to amplify my fears. But I tried to replace those fearful thoughts today and it turned out pretty fine. :) My last donation was not a gd experience for me. I nearly fainted due to low blood pressure. Because of that, I was a bit apprehensive about it this time.

Anyway, the nurse who attended to me looked really familiar and I am pretty sure that I saw her 2 years back. So I took the chance to encourage her. Told her that I remember her and it was because she was v caring nurse. She was so happy to hear that. Glad I get a chance to brighten up someone's day. :)

SOoo, if you have not donated blood for the past 3 months, do consider going to the blood bank. 1 bag of blood can save 3 lives!!! I think it's super worth it from a mathematical point of view. Haha! But if you are unable to donate blood due to medical issues, don't be disheartened. You can always make a difference in other ways like encouraging someone with your kind words and help them to see that they are awesome. Remember, it's not about our ability but our gd intentions.

Let's make the world a better place. Together! :)

Reflections on Mother's Day

To be able to love others, we must first love ourselves.

To be able to love ourselves, we must know that we deserve to be loved.

To know that we deserve to be loved, look at the cross and what Jesus has done for you.

Oh yes, and dont forget to look at the beautiful masterpiece of God in the mirror. ❤️

Lessons from Mr Urban Farmer

Mr Urban Farmer told me that my cactus just need more sunlight to make food and it will do fine. Words from the experts can sometimes be so obvious that we miss it out.

So here are my efforts to give them a good sun tan. I don't think it's enough actually and I probably need to find alternatives.

I always think that I'm bad with plants and I won't be able to keep them alive for long. Because of that, I tend not to invest too much time in it because I somehow feel that I can't make it. Yet, a lot of things in life involves trying and failing in order to succeed. By embracing that kind of can't-make-it mindset, it sets me back and confirms my labels on myself. Too quickly, I judged and drew conclusions.

Mr Urban Farmer shared that he has killed many plants. I bet more than me. That's probably why he is so much better than me.

Today, one of my student came into class looking downcast. I felt something was amiss and probed further. It turned out that she had a math test and she couldn't do most questions in the test as it was really challenging. Most of her friends thought that too. As I was talking to her, I sensed that she was really disappointed in herself. Putting myself in her position, I can understand why. She's from an elite school and she did very well for her previous math test. She probably felt she's a failure and stupid this time. She probably lost some interest in math and her confidence wavered too. I know that because I felt that many times before and they are very real emotions.

As I embark on this journey on growth mindset, I know I must do sth for this girl. After church, I texted her and told her to focus not just on the grades but on learning from her mistakes. Failures shouldn't kill us but their purpose is bring us a step closer to our success. We can either give up and conclude we are stupid, or we can push on, knowing that we are better today than ystd. That's the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

Are you being plagued by failures or disappointments today? Always remember that there's always good in every bad. It's really what we want to focus on. Don't just say I am bad in this or that. Ask yourself how I can be better. I know what it feels when everything you set your heart to do goes against you. But you need to dig deep within you and find the strength to take that next step.

Keep on, going. You are a winner.

Let's do this tgt!

So this is the sunset from my room. Thinking about it, maybe I've been living next to a school all my life, it's just natural for me to develop a love for teaching.

I've decided that I should restart blogging. It used to be so cool to own a blog quite some many years back and then now, people hardly blog. Perhaps with the growing popularity of Instagram and other social media platforms, people prefers to share pictures than thoughts. Well, they always say a picture paints a thousand words. I do agree but not when I find my English and my writing getting worse. It's so bad that I'm horrified. I mean I'm alright when it comes to speaking, but in terms of writing, I just can't believe how I can mix words up and how all my grammar rules can go haywire. Because I'm not strong in my language, I do have some difficulties when I don't practise much. Yes, when all you write about mostly are numbers and letters in the alphabet. But I'll try. So that explains why I need to write again. Let's hope I won't give up after 4 posts! Haha.

Never be a victim of your shortcomings. Give yourself every reason to be an overcomer. Let's do this tgt! :)

猜 which latte I love most!

Yes, it's chai latte! :p

Whenever I visit a cafe and see that beverage in the menu, the chances of me ordering that is like 90%.

I don't think I ever shared the reason for my love for chai latte until today when I met Wendy for dinner. You know, some things just occupy a special place in your heart and slowly it creates a habit in you. Each time when you go down that path of least resistance, you begin to savor a part of the beautiful memories attached to it, unknowingly.

Though chai is so much associated to Indian spice, chai latte reminds me all about my first ever family trip to Melbourne in 2012. It was at that overseas trip that I ordered my first chai latte and I just fell in love with it for its unique taste. As I don't come from a really well-off family, we don't really get the chance to take flights together as a family for overseas trips. So when sis and I were a little more financially abled, we thought we shld create some beautiful memories with our parents.

2012 was not exactly the best year for me as BM's financial account was still in the red. It was challenging to keep things going even. However, after my mum got better from her ordeal, that period seems like a good time to bring her to see the world.

God is always a loving Father and provider. He knew that I needed some help for the trip and He opened doors for me to teach in a school just for a few weeks to take over a teacher who's on maternity leave. The pay from that short stint covered a big part of the travel expenses and made that holiday possible. So that trip was really a miracle for me but most importantly a reminder of God's goodness.

So each time when I take a sip of my chai latte, I'm always filled with gratitude and it really brings back memories of a beautiful holiday with my family. :)